That's the conundrum which leapt at me yesterday.
It was Harv Eker giving me inspiration again, one of his Peak Potentials CD's. In that, he was going over the point that others' attitudes toward you have nothing to do with you - that you don't need to take anything anyone says, emotes, or any of their responses personally. (And he goes into a great deal of other reasons why, but you can see already that taking something personal is an emotional response, which is a dead end - it won't set you free.)
Backing that up, you'll have to dig out your Levenson materials, where you want to release the emotional content of your life and simply get back to your native peace and freedom. (See Freedom Is.)
Eker then went into a following CD, where he talks about "quieting the thoughts" and differentiating between an "idle" and a "quiet" mind. However, he missed a beat here.
It's very possible that your thoughts have nothing to do with you.
They may be, as the physical universe around you, something which more or less "just happens".
Let's consider how this could be.
OK, now there's this thing called Self, which we are all part of. Then there is our own individualistic "Free Will" scene where we are here to fill a particular purpose. And that keeps us individual.
Now, we are all connected, per Huna ("there are no limits").
So your thoughts and my thoughts aren't so very different. And that's telepathy, more or less. And explains why most all success in any endeavor is in the ability to concentrate. To follow your own purpose with a plan and action (Napoleon Hill, "Think and Grow Rich").
That action of concentration would then be a diciplined approach to thinking. The other end of this is known as insanity - where you blindly follow any thought.
In checking this down, let's observe the different approaches to thinking:
1) Analytical - this is perhaps what the Mind was essentially created for. To figure every possible combination of everything. This is pure analytics, and is time consuming. This goes back to the point that the Universe is a respository for all thoughts, that like the idea of Akashic records, you can access anything you want there. And if you consider that we are all like one huge networkd computer cluster, we are all thinking things through as a massive work-in-progress. But that would just be a Matrix-like explanation.
2) Emotional - this is all your feelings and such. Emotion was said by one to be "thought plus effort". However, that's wide of the mark. The point is that most of us live with having feelings and emotions, and these also give value to our lives and living itself. However, they also can be entrapping to various degrees - and so people find themselves just running their lives based on what they are feeling. And so the effectiveness of releasing in order to restore freedom of thought and action.
3) Inspired or Optimal - most meditation has this as it's aim. And following Jose Silva's work takes you down this route. The point is that there is a balance between your purpose and all other thought and action. Much like the example of Dr. Gates in Hill's book, if you sit and concentrate, then you will eventually get inspired thought to act on. This is also known as intuition. As you practice your intuition, you get better at it.
The idea is to get into the "Zone" all the time, where you are living intuitionally. Every inspired thought you have leads you to take the optimal action. And your life is full of "miracles" to others, because they can't see how these things "magically" occur to you. You have, do, and be anything and everything you want or need.
Of course, there are some rules to this:
a) Golden Rule - respect others and their purposes, help every one you can to achieve their own purpose and you'll get all the help you need for yours. But it has to be open-handed help - not expecting any response at all. Treat others as you'd like to be treated, not because you'd like to be treated any particular way.
b) Study a) until you really get it.
In this is the Law of Attraction, the effectiveness of positive thinking, every technique anyone has ever offered which works.
And when you know your purpose and let go of anything and everything that doesn't help you follow that purpose to its end, then your life becomes more and more miraculous and perfect.
That is the life I wish for every one. Complete peace beyond all understanding and description.